Saturday, September 19, 2009

Unsure

So I haven't written in a while because I feel like I need to write positive things and I haven't had much of that lately. I know a lot of it is Satan trying to break me down, but it's working. I am feeling really alone here. I don't have friends here that I hang out regularly and I hate that. I am a people person and don't get me wrong, the people from work/church are great and the kids in my youth group are great, but I need more interaction with people my age and I don't have many friends that age. One of my friends just moved away to do this amazing year of missions and my other friend works a lot and has a lot of other friends, so we never really hang out. It is hitting me hard lately. I am trying to be honest and let people know how I am feeling, but I don't want my boss to know and have him get worried, so I am trying to keep it on the DL, but I feel like it could start effecting my work, I hope not, but the reality is that it might.

I know that I am here serving God and that I am suppose to be here, but I felt so different here last year and hope that this is really what I am suppose to be doing by myself. I know that here I get to serve and help a lot of people and hopefully act like Jesus and humbly serve people here, but because I am doing it alone (which is my fault for having no accountability) Satan is attacking big time and I don't know what to do about it.

I just ask that if you are reading this that you pray for me to stay strong and know that God will get me through this. I really need some help right now....

1 comment:

  1. Hey B-renna! I just read your blog...I know it's a few weeks old now, but I understand COMPLETELY. I have no friends in Japan, either....and considering my Japanese is VERY minimal, it's not going to be easy to find them. I have been struggling majorly with loneliness this past month. So I'll pray for you if you pray for me!! Hang in there girl. You're awesome. And I think it is fantastic that you went back to Motown.

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